For What it's Worth
by MorbidMotive
Summary: After Zim finds out he's not a real invader, and that he is no longer welcome home, Dib takes him to the planetarium to try and cheer him up and help him feel a little less homesick. But he doesn't understand just how deep a wound this was for the invader, and he wasn't expecting the turn the alien would take. Inspired by ending of the Bojack Horseman episode 'That's too much, man'


Two years ago, if you would've asked Dib what his ultimate goal in life was, he would have told you it was to defeat and expose Zim: the evil Irken invader trying to overthrow and conquer the planet Earth.

He would have told you that there was nothing he wanted more than to rip off the alien's shoddy disguise and be showered in praise and acceptance from his family and peers, and to make a fool out of the proud yet arrogant invader.

Funny how sometimes the things we want most in life don't bring nearly the satisfaction we plan it to.

Because here he was; in Zim's lab three days after _it _happened, staring at the depressed alien and all he felt for his arch nemesis was… well, sadness. Not even pity, just pure sadness.

It wasn't something he was supposed to have witnessed, but he'd been spying on Zim's lab when it happened. The little green alien had been welding something into his PAK when the AI alerted him of a call from his leaders. Ever the loyal Irken, he'd instantly stopped what he was doing to answer the call, his PAK reconnecting to the ports in his spine as he turned to his monitor.

"Greetings, my Tallest! To what do I owe the pleasure of you contacting Zim?" He'd answered with a cheery grin that his leaders didn't return. They'd been silent for a moment, then…

"... Zim…" Tallest Red had begun, and Dib could hear the nearly uncontrolled malice that had dripped from his tone. Zim however seemed not to have noticed. "Do you have any idea what we've been through the past few days? What _You've _put us through?"

_The florpus hole._

It had only been a little over a week since everything had happened, and while the physical damage from the fight between human and invader (and said invader's army of robots) was being repaired, the events were still fresh in Dib's mind.

Before Zim could answer, Tallest Purple had interjected. "We've been in that damned florpus hole _you_ created!" He'd screamed at the tiny Irken taking up his screen. "Killing Tallest Spork _and _Tallest Miyuki wasn't good enough for you, huh? You needed to rack up two more points for your score card?!"

At the mention of the two preceding Tallest, Dib saw Zim flinch. _Is that true, did Zim really kill two of his leaders? _he'd thought to himself.

"I-I apologize for the florpus incident, my Tallest, but Zim never meant for-"

"It doesn't matter if you meant for it to happen or not, Zim!" Red snapped, and his tone had made both the invader and human flinch behind their respective screens. The malice was no longer hidden or controlled, and Zim had definitely noticed it this time. "The point is it happened! You had _no _authorization to teleport your planet into our path! Not to mention that by doing so you nearly had the entire armada killed!"

"B-but m-my Tallest-"

"We don't wanna hear it Zim! You've been a thorn in our side for long enough! We thought that by sending you out into space you'd end up irreversibly lost or starve to death or… _something! _But you can't even do that right!"

_Ouch. _Dib thought to himself. Though he could only see a fraction of Zim's face, the small hint of expression he _had_ been able to see, mixed with his drooped antennae revealed the Irken's emotions: fear, desperation and pain; all of which he'd never seen Zim show before.

"B-but Sirs! I'm Irk's greatest invader! I-"

"You're not an Invader, Zim!"

Dib's jaw had dropped, and he watched as Zim's did the same. For a moment nobody had said anything; nobody had even breathed, including the Irken workers in the background. It seemed like the tall leaders were trying to calm themselves down for a moment.

When Red had spoken again, his voice had been calmer, though the malice still laced his tone.

"Let me make one thing perfectly clear Zim, so that even a _defect_ like _you_ can understand." At the word _defect, _Zim had flinched again_. _"If you ever come anywhere near Irk _or _the armada - if you ever even _contact _us again - we will personally see to it that you're deactivated and fed to the gasquiggasplorch. Maybe, _maybe _then you'll prove to be of any use to us. Do you understand?"

"B-but sirs-" Zim had tried weakly, but Red had cut him off.

"Do you understand?!" He'd bellowed firmly, and all Zim could do was nod timidly.

"Good. You've been warned. Good riddance." Tallest Purple had said, and then the screen had cut out to black.

Dib had just sat there, for how long he still wasn't quite sure, waiting for Zim to react. For a moment the small alien had just stood there, shocked by what had just happened. Then with an angry, pain-filled yell, he'd smashed his fists down on his work table and flung his tools off with his arm. He'd missed one which he then picked up and threw with all his strength, and it had hit Dib's hidden camera, cutting out his transmission feed.

That was the last he'd seen of the tiny inva-... of the tiny alien to this point. Dib had been sure he'd see Zim out and about, taking out the rage he was surely still feeling on the human race.

But that hadn't been the case, and now here he was, standing in his enemy's lab checking up on him.

Gir was upstairs with Minimoose, watching some mind numbing children's television show, and Zim was sitting on the floor of his lab. Dib found himself wondering if he'd left at all in the three days since _it _had happened, and he was starting to doubt it. Hell, he doubted Zim even knew he was here.

"Get up, evil alien scum! I'm here to defeat you!" He tried, hoping to snap Zim back into reality, but aside from a twitch of antennae, proving that at the very least he'd heard him, he got no reaction.

_I bet he'd really let me expose him this time. _He found himself thinking, but he pushed the thought out of his head. It felt… wrong to think about that after what he'd witnessed Zim go through the other day.

Instead, he walked over and sat down next to him. He didn't say anything at first; he didn't know _what_ to say. So he just started slowly and gently.

"Zim, I saw what happened the other day," he said, half expecting the alien to snap at him for spying, but he got no response so he continued. "and I just want to say…"

What _did _he want to say?

After a moment and a sigh, he settled on "What they said… that was messed up, and it wasn't right for them to say that to you. I'm sorry you had to go through that."

Again he got no answer, and he was considering getting up and leaving when suddenly he heard Zim, in a rough, unused voice say:

"It's true though."

Hearing Zim, the proudest being he'd ever met say something like that was simultaneously shocking and heartbreaking. Before he could respond Zim looked up, and the human boy could see dry tear marks streaking the aliens face.

"Z-Zim destroys everything he touches, except the planet he's _supposed _to destroy."

Zim's voice cracked at the end and magenta eyes became glossy as he hid his face once more, and he began to shake gently.

Dib wasn't sure how to react, so he awkwardly patted his weeping nemesis on the back.

"Hey, man… it's gonna be alright, just give it some time. It's gonna be okay."

Zim tightened his grip on his arms, sniffled and looked up once more, though still not at Dib. It was bad enough he was showing weakness around his sworn enemy, even worse that he was being comforted by him. He couldn't bring himself to look at him on top of it.

"No it's not, Dib-stink." He said as he used his arm to wipe away his tears, and Dib was somewhat relieved to hear the familiar insult. "This was my final chance to prove to my Tallest that I could be a useful member of the Irken race, and I ruined it. I'm not an invader, and now I can't even go back home!" He said, his voice cracking on the word _home, _making Dib's heart ache just a little more. "You heard them. I'm a disgrace. A _defect._" This time, the last word came out strong and hateful, and it made Dib's stomach twist a little.

For a while they just sat there, a human boy and his alien rival, neither quite sure what to do. Then Dib had an idea. He stood up and held his hand out to the alien. "Come with me."

Zim looked at the hand accusingly. "What, are you going to try and hand me over to your earth government?" He said with a mild malice dripping from his tone. It reminded Dib of how Tallest Red had sounded at the beginning and end of the call. "Irk knows it's about all I'd be good for." Just like that, as quick as it came, the malice was gone and replaced with the same heartbroken tone he'd occupied before.

Dib shook his head. "No," he said gently, "just trust me. I want to show you something."

Zim looked up at the offered hand, then at the hand's owner before looking at the hand again and accepting it, allowing himself to be pulled up. Dib lead him to the elevator and up to the kitchen. He grabbed Zim's wig and contacts and handed them to their owner, waiting patiently as Zim half-heartedly put them on, and then lead him out the door.

They walked for a while, but Zim wasn't sure nor did he care about how long. When they got into the city, he saw the main path of destruction and felt a sharp pang in his chest as he remembered how close he'd been to victory, and that it had been ripped away by a human who hadn't even believed he'd been witnessing reality.

_Even humans are better than I am. _He thought to himself.

He must have slowed his pace, because suddenly he felt Dib take his hand and pull him along.

They continued on their path until they approached at large building with a dome top. Zim recognized it as the planetarium. They'd been here for a field trip at the end of their fifth grade year.

"I come here sometimes when I'm upset." Dib said. "Especially before you came here. It was the closest I could get to space; to experiencing what was beyond this planet."

Dib then lead him inside and bought their tickets. Being that it was late evening, and the last showing of the night, they had the entire place to themselves.

As Dib walked inside, zim excused himself and went into the men's restroom down the hall. He locked the door behind him, removed his wig and contacts and knelt on the counter, looking at himself in the mirror. As he did so, he could hear all of the negative voices come back full force. All of the taunts from his smeethood classmates, his current classmates, Dib, his Tallest, _everyone_.

The familiar lump began to reappear as the voices got louder, and he pulled his antennae down trying to block them out, tears brimming in his eyes and making him feel more and more like a failure, a disgrace

_Defect!_

than he already had.

He continued to pull his antennae to the point he was sure they'd snap off for a moment longer before giving into the voices and letting his body sag in defeat. He stared at his reflection a moment longer before squeezing his eyes shut, and reaching back to his PAK. With no more than a moment's hesitation, he disabled the metal dome from the ports on his spine, stared at it in his hands for a moment, and hid it in the bottom of the wastebasket along with his disguise before heading back to the theatre.

His life clock had begun to count down in the corner of his consciousness.

He found Dib easily, seeing as he was the only one in the theatre, and when he sat down next to him he saw the human boy's eyes grow wide.

"Where's your disguise?!" He hissed.

"With my PAK." _In the trash receptacle._

"Just don't forget to put it back on before we leave." He chastised, and the few dim lights that had been illuminating the theatre went out as the screen lit up with the projection show and a voice boomed through the theatre.

_"Our solar system was formed about four and a half billion years ago," _The voice began, and Zim sat back, looking at the screen but not really focusing on it. On anything for that matter. It wasn't until he heard Dib's voice that he pulled himself into reality.

"Y'know, Zim… for what it's worth… you'll always be a real invader to me."

_00:19_

_00:18_

_00:17_

Zim felt the lump form in his throat again, and he allowed himself a small smile. "Thank you, Dib. And you're a worthy opponent."

_00:11 _

_00:10 _

_00:09_

He could feel his body nearing its final stage of shutting down, and with a yawn, Zim allowed himself to lean against his enemy's shoulder. Using the last of his strength, Zim weakly said. "All I ever wanted was to be an Invader."

_00:04 _

_00:03 _

_00:02_

Dib cast a sad glance down to the Irken leaning on his side as the voice continued.

"_Be it human, horse, cat, or even lizard, our lives are but the briefest flashes in a universe that is billions of years old."_

Dib smiled a little. "See Zim? It doesn't matter what we did in the past, or how we'll be remembered. All that matters is this moment right now. Right Zim?" He asked. When he didn't receive an answer, he gently nudged the alien to try and wake him. "Zim?" He tried again. When he yet again was met with silence, he looked down at the alien next to him for the first time since the show began, and his heart nearly stopped as he saw the Irken's ashy tone revealed by the projector light; fresh tear marks on his cheeks. Panic began to set in as he grabbed Zim, the only person to ever take him seriously, to respect him in any way, who made his life _exciting _and _meaningful_, by the shoulders and gently shook him. When he did so, he noticed Zim's PAK was no longer attached to his back, and his eyes became wet as his throat tightened. "No, nonononononono_._ Zim!"

He knew an Irken could only survive ten minutes without their PAK. He checked his watch. They'd been in the theatre eleven minutes and seventeen seconds.

_'I'm going to expose you for the evil alien menace you are!'_

_'They may even name your autopsy video after me!'_

_No, not like this. Please, not like this._

As tears began to trail down his cheeks, he lowered his hands from the alien's shoulders. He never took his eyes off Zim, the closest thing he'd had to a friend in his entire life.

He let out a soft sob as the heartache he'd felt for the other and all of the insults he'd heard thrown at him brought light to the situation. He found himself wishing he'd realized in time.

"..._Zim_..."


End file.
